Dear readers, this corner will be devoted to give you some help and emotional support. Using a well known psychological tool called “projection” I will hope to achieve this.
Others expressing their feelings and situations seems to be one of the best ways to have a truly good look “inside” ourselves. To do this mechanism of empathy and projection (basic human emotional defence) we can create, recreate, build and rebuild different points of view about different situations. We grow on this basis.
My proposal is for you to bring me different, real situations that can have an impact on our everyday lives, and that may also be an interesting topic to others. I encourage you to take an active part and bring me situations, ask me questions or some possible suggestions, even a consultation if required. This way we are all co-operating together in “mirror corners” to make it work for our own benefits and interests.
This information from yourselves will all be kept in the strictest confidentiality, names, emails, telephone numbers will not appear, you can even leave it simply as ‘anonymous’ for ease.
TURNING COMMON NEGATIVE FEELINGS INTO POSITIVE REALITIES
This month I have decided to write a different type of article. It is based upon the statement ¨true words of different situations¨… I will describe people´s histories and explain what happened next.
Think of this like a mirror, so you will be able to arrive to your own conclusions.
1) SUSSY (50) – HISTORY: Conflictive relationship with her mother. Trying to live her own life without the approval of her mother. Her mother has a very strong character (at least that is the impression). Sussy gives the same impression, although she is much sweeter. (She is working very hard on improving her self-esteem, assertiveness, and independence.)
PHRASE: ¨ When things went wrong, I heard my mum saying… “I told you so!”
2) RALPH (45) – HISTORY: Problems to finish different choices and courses of action being taken. His family is a priority, and Ralph puts the blame on himself when situations didn’t end like expected. (He is working on learning to face different
losses and his self-esteem.)
PHRASE.- ¨ True self-compassion, means accepting your light and darkness¨.
3) ALISON (40) – HISTORY: She is not happy with her life, she feels she is in the middle of things that have nothing to do with her, she just suffers the consequences
of living with them. (Working on insight, responsibility, confidence and empathy.)
PHRASE.- “I was bad, I don´t deserve happiness¨.
4) JOHN (53) – Runs a family hotel. Always complaining about the fact he “doesn’t have time for himself”. On top of that, his kids seem to be asking for his attention. Parents and friends always influence the decisions of the business. He also complains that he has no money to pay his employees. He travels abroad more than twice a year. (Working on learning to compromise, empathy, responsibility and independence in solving problems).
PHRASE.- ¨My family gets all of me¨.
¨ I have to be happy first¨.
…Let´s work together and try to figure it out…
What in general goes wrong in each case? You can easily guess, so I put it to you…
From these cases we are going to create some tips, which confirm it is important to be positive and keep positive, in order to achieve success (all aspects included).
Lets see how positive you can be – you always have the option of not being positive!
Situation 1: Making your own choices without the fear of failing or falling actually makes you grow. In the meantime you get that inner voice that says ¨what would happen if I did it¨? … There is no success without making our own choices, and lots of failures … so! Lets give it another try, with your own voice!
Situation 2: Self compassion only serves if you stay quiet and make lots of decisions to stay in the same place, so…you don´t have to put the blame on you, you just have to be responsible, admit your own actions and make them better, in order to achieve the 100 percent goal…( it is not a figure, it is YOUR 100 and it takes time to achieve that desired goal )
Situation 3: You are thinking you were bad in the past? I have news for you!! You are alive, so try to be aware not do it again. Try to GIVE (rather than wait passively to be given) to the ones you ¨were bad to¨… things will start to change on your behalf.
Situation 4: You are the one that always complains or at least pays attention to the ¨need of money¨. I have news for you … Start being grateful for the things that people are doing for you in the form of work or just by being kind with words and different actions. You will realize that money starts to go where it means to go…in the meantime, a sense of living in abundance will take place.
My dear readers, I hope these pieces of advice make sense to you, and I will always welcome your ideas !!
Thank you!!!!!! BEA
I would love for you to suggest to me some topics you want to know about, for sure I will have had some real topics related to it during my past work history, I have twenty years of folders to investigate. You can ask me any questions, and I will give you my contribution in the form of suggestion, hoping it can help you.
Want to ask Beatriz a question?
Your information will be kept in the strictest confidentiality.